Monday, January 23, 2006

[the] office

(aw-fiss) n. (1) an office is a room or other area in which people work, but may also denote a position within an organisation with specific duties attached to it1; (2) headquarters of a wrestling organization2; (3) a rare example of fine television programming in this dark era of puke-inducing reality shows and painfully unfunny sitcoms, originally created by the Brits, but now made available to Yanks too

Just discovered that there exists a blog Schrute-Space created by Dwight Schrute, one of the quirkiest characters on the American version of The Office. It is not clear if it is actually written by Rainn Wilson (the man behind Dwight), but it's convincingly Dwight-ish. Here are some of "Dwight's" thoughts on winter taken from his January 18 posting:

PS. Thoughts about winter.

Winter is the coldest season. For a reason. The sun moves south, to warm up the Africans and the Australians and leaves us in the northern climes to fend for ourselves in the sleet and the frost.

He concludes his P.S. remarks with some Canada-bashing. Funny.

It seems like there is a real push to bring made-up characters on tv to life. It's not enough that we escape our real work lives for half an hour once a week to pretend that we are part of another one, but now we can continue pretending that our Office friends are real outside of that half-hour window. Now we can not only read the made-up profiles of these made-up characters of t.v. shows but read about their made-up thoughts on their made-up lives.

1source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Office
2source: http://www.wrestlenotes.com/wrestlingterms.html

Sunday, January 22, 2006

whoop

(wuhp) v. to whip1 (the standard, PG-13 definition); n. the high pitched sound that escapes from a woman's mouth when someone unexpectedly gives her "the shocker"2 (a notable onomatopoeia turned not-so-PG-13 definition); Whoop That Trick (Get 'em), a delightful rap by Terrence Howard (DJay) heard on Hustle & Flow; whoopass (i.e., "killer"), a company that makes customized bobble-heads (?!)

Craig Brewer's Hustle & Flow (2005) was a whoopass movie. Songs like "Whoop That Trick (Get 'em)" and "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp" sing about the hard-knock life that your typical, struggling pimp in Memphis has to endure. Unlike the portrayal of pimps on the Hollywood big screen and in assorted 50 Cent music videos, Hustle & Flow pimp culture stays clear of the bling (well, except for this huge, shiny gold chain that DJay sports around his neck at some point in the movie). The story is hopeful and intended to encourage people to dream. But at the same time, it preaches that dreams don't come easy. And sometimes you gotta go to jail to make them happen.


1,2source: www.urbandictionary.com

Monday, January 16, 2006

dreamsicle

(drEm-si-cul) n. (1) a frozen popsicle composed of an orange sherbert shell on the outside and frozen milk on the inside, not to be confused with its close cousin, creamsicle; (2) a type of alcoholic drink that typically consists of orange juice, some liqueur, and some milky substance (e.g., ice cream, half-and-half); (3) a Jimmy Buffet song; (4) an uplifting, feel-good album of heartwarming Christian songs by Fellowship Of The Woodlands filled with allegorical references relating the enjoyment of this frozen treat to God's dream for you (if you're Christian); (5) an analogy used by Stephen Colbert on tonight's episode of The Colbert Report to honor MLK's contribution to humanity

Today, on this MLK Day, I witnessed a new meaning ordained to the word dreamsicle in a live taping of The Colbert Report. As a tribute to the late Martin Luther King, Jr., Colbert chose the dreamsicle, this ice-cream truck favorite as the dessert to honor the man to whom we owe our day off from school/work. Colbert stated boldly, "I have a dream-sicle" several times, each time before taking another big bite out of this delish frozen treat until he was stricken by a sudden brain freeze. He challenged his audience to imagine the orange representing white people and the white cream inside to representing black people...then it's something like white people hugging black people in harmony. The enjoyment of a dreamsicle shall never be the same. Well spoken, Stephen.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

smerr

(smur) n. (1) an unpleasant, unexplainable odor (usu. relating to the body), literally or figuratively-speaking, you smerr!; (2) some Serbian word

This variant on the English word smell was originally created circa 2005 after mispronouncing the word with a heavy, exaggerated (and probably innaccurate) Chinese accent. The literal meaning remains the same as smell, albeit, with a slightly more negative connotation. It is often used as an insult. For example,

You: Would you like to come over and bake cookies with me today?
Friend: No, that's gay.
You: Fine, you smerr!

For another example of an emphatic use smerr, see geriatric punks.

(Serbian definition currently unknown, therefore, no examples can be provided at this time.)

Saturday, January 14, 2006

starlight

(stahr-lIt) n. (1) light from the stars; (2) the special thing about someone that attracts you to him/her, ...the partner you once loved and cherished and saw as though saturated with starlight now feels more like a low-level infection...1

They've finally done it. Scientists have figured out a way to understand starlight; such complex behavior as love can be explained as a mere series of chemical processes. Although the debate persists about whether love is really some crazy western-world-fabricated ideology introduced by some sick joint venture between 1-800-FLOWERS and deBeers, for all the lovelorn cynics out there, National Geographic's February cover story provides some scientific evidence supporting that hokey feeling we refer to as love. For instance, the physiological state of 'romantic love' (think horse-and-carriage ride through Central Park in the moonlight) can be explained as an imbalance of dopamine levels. Evidence for this is presented in an fMRI study by Dr. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University which showed increased activity in the caudate nucleus (site of an abundance of dopamine receptors). 'Attachment'--that duller stage in the relationship where the once fierce embrace fizzles into an affectionate bear hug--is characterized physiologically as a steady secretion of oxytocin.

Not to de-romanticize the notion of love, but really, in the end that feeling that we always struggle to find words to describe can in fact be described fairly well in chemical equations. It's only a matter of time before we find oxytocin and dopamine supplements right next to birth control pills in the medicine cabinet. But before you place your pre-orders at your local pharmacy, you may want to consider less invasive solutions like a course on kissing (?!) to revive that starlight.

1Slater, Lauren. (2005). This thing called love. National Geographic, February, 39.