Tuesday, February 21, 2006

cougar bait

(koo-grr bayt) n. (1) a small hopeless dog taken out into the bush1; (2) a young, hopeful man yearning to get laid by a young gorgeous babe, but instead gets snagged by a frisky woman twice his age; see more on cougars or urban cougars

It appears that a new species of cougar known to be over 30 years of age and unabashedly flirtatious particularly with younger men was first discovered and recorded at least three years ago. Since then, the cougar population has been growing exponentially. With plastic surgery readily available, a cougar can be released into the wild with more ferocious enhancements most of which, although clearly unnatural and disturbing in ordinary settings, are surprisingly often overlooked by cougar bait after he has unknowingly consumed one too many drinks. Over the weekend one of my older male cousins was appropriately labeled cougar bait. Apparently, 'big talk, small drink' makes you easy prey.

1 source: http://www.findfido.com/ShowNewsStory.asp?StoryID=310

Sunday, February 12, 2006

wintry mix

(wihn-tree miks) n. (1) a somewhat informal meteorological term, used primarily in the United Kingdom, to refer to various mixtures of rain, freezing rain, sleet and snow1; (2) a downloadable font2; (3) a mix of the snowiest cold weather music

Well, today's weather was a wintry mix...but without the rain, freezing rain, and sleet. Just plain ole snow. Almost 30 inches of it. Weather reports announced it as a Nor'easter(!) or the Blizzard of '06(!!) . I was reminded of just how much creativity must go into reporting something as dull as the weather. Let us return to wintry mix. Honestly, what is a wintry mix? Sounds more like a delightful crunchy little snack of snowflake-shaped crackers and bite-sized white chocolate hailstones. Or a colorful medley of squash and assorted root vegetables seasoned with feel-good. But to the marketing department over at the weather station, "wintry mix" apparently best describes a dreadful combination of some of the most bitter and unsavory precipitation to plague poor commuters on their way to work. Huh. Yes, what better way to kick off your ugly commute to work on a rainy-freezing-sleetish-snowy day than with a little bit of drool on the corner of your mouth as you hear Al Roker report today's weather as a "wintry mix?"

1http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wintry_mix
2http://www.1001fonts.com/font_details.html?font_id=1523

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

wew

(wew) n. an ugly female ghost with drooping breasts1; Don't be such a wew.

I heard this term read aloud from Karl Pilkington's diary on the 10th episode of The Ricky Gervais show. Unfortunately, due Stephen Merchant's thick British accent I could not exactly make out the source from which Karl discovered this odd and rather useless word. It sounded like "4-T-N Times." That's the best I could do. Come to think of it, I've probably misspelled the word wew itself too. Regardless, it's such an uncommon word that this is probably all you'll ever have to know about it anyway.

1 quoted directly from The Ricky Gervais Show 02.06.2006 podcast.